I don’t have many toys. Very occasionally, the humans will bring me a new one. Usually, they suck.
This was one of the rare occasions, however, when they brought me something that was actually half decent.
It was a green box, with the face of a strange white kitty on it. Inside the box was a strange glass bottle, which I was happy for the humans to get rid of. The box was the real toy, and it managed to entertain me for well over half an hour, until I grew bored with it.
Sometimes, those humans are actually pretty good at knowing what I want. Most of the time, they haven’t got a clue, though.
Thank you, humans.
Design: 4/5 – nice six-sided construction, interesting colour, though the kitten face is a little unrealistic (some might say cartoony)
Fun factor: 4/5 – quite entertaining, and easy to play with, while still posing enough of a challenge
Durability: 3/5 – resisted most of my attacks, but prone to flattening under stress
Value for money: 2/5 – pretty expensive for a small cardboard box, really
I’m a girl. I have ribbons in my hair. Or maybe they’re my ears. I’m not sure. Yay!
I'm a girl.
I have ribbons in my hair. Yay!
We went on a weekend trip to Asbury Park! Yay! My brother Gila and me and the humans! On the train! They put me in my red box. I don’t really mind, though sometimes I get a little impatient, and then I start scratching the mesh on the box like a rabid dog! I don’t have rabies, though. The vet gave me shots for rabies, so I have nice bling on my harness that says ‘rabies’ on it. Gila has nice bling on his harness too. Gila is a cat. He came along too, on the train. Yay! We stayed in a nice place, where they had a very nice bed and very soft pillows.
There were cats who lived in the place! They didn’t look anything like Gila, though. Gila is my brother, and he looks crazy.
Not so crazy.
We went walkies (jalan-jalan! yay!) lots of times. We went to a doggie beach, and I really loved running in the sand and jumping up and down and charging and sprinting and generally being a crazy puppy!
We also walked along a strange road made out of wood. It was fun! I like walking. Yay!
Strange but fun
When we went back to the beach, I made lots of doggie friends. One of them was a street dog from Puerto Rico. His humans had brought him back to Jersey. He was about my size, but more fluffy, and he wore a nice coat with bones on it. I like bones! Yay! He was very funny and friendly, and he peed on me.
I got peed on!
No, it’s not weird, or gross, or obscene. It’s how we cats clean ourselves, ok? And it’s far more effective, and far less ridiculous, than dumping me in a sink. Not that anyone cares.
Anyway, it’s perfectly normal. And not funny at all, ok?
Here are some post-bathing pics of a slightly wet dog and a very wet cat.
OK, so, yes, the dog was very smelly. I won’t argue with that at all. And yes, she needed a bath. Badly.
Does that mean I needed a bath too? No, not at all. So why the hell did they dunk me in the sink, then? Yes, the sink. You read that right. The smelly dog gets the royal treatment in the bath, I get my beautiful self cleaned in the sink.
I hate my life. I hate you all. And I hate bath time.
Please let it end.
Oh, the humiliation.
Yeah. Very funny.
That’s PUPPY shampoo. Sigh.
I hate my life.
Ok, I think that’s enough.
Let me out. Please.
I hate you. Hate you all.
I hate many things. Here is a list of some of the main things I hate:
- Not being fed on time. It doesn’t matter that there’s often still food left in my bowl. Feeding time is feeding time – no excuses.
- Being fed ridiculous junk. See my post earlier about being fed bison.
- Being held under the water tap, above the sink, to rinse poo off my butt hairs. Seriously. There’s no need. Even if I can’t reach it myself, the dog will lick it off. Eventually.
Known to lick poo.
- Being disturbed when trying to sleep. Like when they feel the need to clean the carpet right when I’m taking a nap on it. Or when they feel the need to step on my tail. Bastards.
- Watching the dog hump one of her toys. I won’t ever get those images out of my head.
There are, however, some things I love:
- Being fed on time.
- Being fed treats.
- Catching flies.
- Jumping on the dog or the humans in the middle of the night.
- Enjoying some peace and quiet when the dog is out for a walk.
And then there’s some things I just don’t understand. I’ve already posted about this before, but here’s a few more things that confuse the hell out of me:
- The dog’s strange licking obsession. Nothing is safe from her tongue. Nothing.
- The dog’s strange obsession with going for walks. It’s like she’s expecting to walk straight to the gates of dog paradise whenever they get her leash out. It’s just pavement, stupid.
- Art. I just don’t get it.
Don't get it.
- Other cats. What drives them, what motivates them, what are they all about? I don’t get them.
- Why humans put shoelaces in shoes. They’re so fun and stringy, why hide most of their stringiness away in useless pieces of footwear?
The humans went somewhere, I dunno where, and when they came back, they had a new head-thing for me! Yay! I like wearing things on my head! Yay! I’m so pretty! Yay!
Gila got a toy. I think he’s jealous. Yeah. Yay!