Review: Stewart’s Cream Soda bottle cap

The humans left me a new toy the other day. As per usual, they didn’t even have the decency to give it to me – I had to go find it myself, abandoned as it was on the table in the lounge. I have to admit: I was pleasantly surprised. The built quality of this toy is excellent, and it proved to be hugely entertaining. I also appreciate the fact that it’s small enough for me to easily manipulate with my paws, and even hold in my mouth when I want to carry it somewhere (to dump it in my water bowl, for example). I’m not a big fan of the colour (the shiny golden surface makes it a bit tacky), but that’s only a minor complaint.

All in all, a pretty nice Christmas gift, even though it came almost a week late.

Fun toy.

Fun toy.

Bottle capped.

Bottle capped.

Quite a pleasant feeling.

Quite a pleasant feeling.

Entertainment value: 5/5
Durability: 5/5
Looks: 3/5
Value for money: 5/5
Overall: 4.5/5


Review: Clif Bars (White Chocolate & Macadamia / Coconut Chocolate Chip)

Yesterday, the humans went away in the afternoon to go look at a space ship. When it was dinner time, they still weren’t back. Fortunately, they had left some new food for me in the kitchen. Yay! Really nice smelling bars, on the bottom shelf of the kitchen cabinet. They had obviously left them for me – yay! – because otherwise they would have put them on a higher shelf, right? Yay! I love food! I tried the one that smelled like nuts first. The wrapper was a little hard to open, but because I’m a clever pug – I like food! yay! – it didn’t take me too long. The bar was very, very yummy, and I was still hungry, so I moved to the next one. This one tasted of coconut. Very nice. Yay! I was getting kinda full, but the third one was calling my name (Gemuk! Gemuk! Yay!), so I ate it, too.

Yum! Yay! Yum! Yay! Yum! Yay!

When the humans got home, they looked a little confused. They had probably forgotten they had left those treats for me – silly forgetful humans. Later, they tried to give me another treat (because I’m such a good doggie!), but it was very yucky and pink and funny-tasting. The bottle said ‘Pepto-Bismol’ on it, and the taste brought back vague memories of when my brother and I had managed to break into our automatic feeders and eaten everything inside. That was fun! Yay!

Since I ate the bars, I haven’t stopped farting! Hehehehe! Fun! Yay! More bars, please?

Anyway, here is my review:

  • Taste: 5/5 – supper tasty, better than kibbles
  • Packaging: 2/5 – not that easy to open with doggie paws, needs improvement
  • Nutritional value: ? – I don’t know what this means
  • Side-effects: 4/5 – I love the farts, but the soft poo is less fun
  • Value for money: ? – I dunno? I think they were for free?

More bars, yes?

Review: Jules Destrooper Butter Crisps

Today, I tried new food. Yay! Cookies! They were very yummy, and I would like to thank the humans for leaving these tasty waffle thingies out for little me. They were in  a shiny wrapper and they were a bit difficult to get out and lick and eat and stuff, but I think the humans just forgot to put them in my bowl. Still, it was very nice of them to share them with me.

It was a bit strange that they didn’t give me any doggie food for dinner when they came home. They also seemed a little bit confused when they saw there were no more cookies left. They probably forgot they had given them to me, and they must have forgotten to feed me my dog food too. They’re forgetting a lot of things these days. Good thing I am smart and know how to feed myself.

For me? Thank you! Yay!

Taste: 5/5.. yummy!

Nutritional value: I dunno what this means

Value for money: I dunno?

Review: Zanies 8-Inch Rope Menagerie Dog Toy, Giraffe

Helllooo! Long time no blog blog! I’ve been busy. No, not really. I’ve been lazy.. hehehe! Too hot for bloggin’. I like blogging. Yay! I also like treats, and toys, and walkies. It’s too hot for walkies right now. I like treats, and toys! This is one of my favourite toys of all time, and I really like it, almost as much as my moose, but I like my moose more. Yay, the moose! Gemoose! I like the moose. But I like this toy too! It’s a giraffe.. Geraffe? Gemuk, Gemoose, Geraffe. Hehehe! It’s yellow, like my brother’s eyes, and it’s made out of rope. It’s really awesome to chew on, almost as awesome as chewing on treats, but I like treats more. I really like treats. And my moose. And my giraffe. It’s yellow. My brother’s eyes are yellow too. I like my brother, he has a weird face. My giraffe had a weird face too, but its face is kinda gone now. Gila’s face is still weird.

Face no more

Fun factor: 4/5 – lots of fun – yay! – but not quite as fun as the moose

Chewiness: 4/5 – very fun to chew on, but not quite as fun to chew on as treats

Durability: 3/5 – it’s still chewable, but it doesn’t really look like a giraffe anymore.. hehehe.. oops!

Value for money: I dunno?

Review: HELLO KITTY sweet miniatures fragrance 5ml, green

I don’t have many toys. Very occasionally, the humans will bring me a new one. Usually, they suck.

This was one of the rare occasions, however, when they brought me something that was actually half decent.

It was a green box, with the face of a strange white kitty on it. Inside the box was a strange glass bottle, which I was happy for the humans to get rid of. The box was the real toy, and it managed to entertain me for well over half an hour, until I grew bored with it.

Sometimes, those humans are actually pretty good at knowing what I want. Most of the time, they haven’t got a clue, though.

New toy.

Nice box.

Quite fun.

Paw paw.

Thank you, humans.

Design: 4/5 – nice six-sided construction, interesting colour, though the kitten face is a little unrealistic (some might say cartoony)

Fun factor: 4/5 – quite entertaining, and easy to play with, while still posing enough of a challenge

Durability: 3/5 – resisted most of my attacks, but prone to flattening under stress

Value for money: 2/5 – pretty expensive for a small cardboard box, really

Review: iRobot 530 Roomba Vacuuming Robot, White

A few months ago, the humans bought this rather strange cat toy, which they refer to as ‘Roomba’. It’s quite big for a toy, and I wasn’t too sure what to think of it at first. Curiously, it seems to have a mind of its own, navigating the room with seemingly no input from anyone else. The most entertaining part is definitely this rotating brush thingy, which  I love to try and catch in my paws. Sometimes, when I manage to catch the brush and stop it from moving, Roomba rewards me with a little jingle, something about ‘error #6’, and passes out. All very strange, but quite fun – until it runs out of energy and goes to sleep. My idiot sister likes to bark at Roomba – but she likes to bark at most things, and – annoyingly – at me.

  • Fun: 4/5
  • Surprise factor: 4/5
  • Value for money: 1/5 (probably one of the most expensive cat toys I have ever seen)
  • Audio: 4/5
  • Total: 3.3/5

Expensive cat toy

Review: Multipet Ba-Da-Beam Rotating Laser Cat Toy

Firstly, I want to get something straight: the dog has far more toys than me. Apparently, this is fair. Just one of those things in life that I just have to learn to live with I suppose.

One of the measly few toys I have is this green turret-like thing that shoots laser beams all around. I have to say, it is actually quite entertaining, at least for a little while. After 5 to 10 minutes, I tend to get quite bored. Then again, I tend to get quite bored of most things quite quickly. Especially the dog. Idiots bore me more than anything. Anyway, I digress. It’s probably a good thing I tend to get bored of the toy after a while, because it switches itself off after 15 minutes or so. It does get me running around for a bit, which I suppose is a good thing. All in all, though, I prefer catching flies, or chasing my idiot sister around the place. My biggest qualm with the laser toy is that I still haven’t figured out how to switch it on myself, and I’m probably the smartest creature in this household. I hate it when I have to rely on humans for anything, so I really only use this toy when one of the humans happens to feel like turning it on – I’m certainly never going to beg for them to do so.


  • Fun: 3/5
  • Long-term entertainment: 2/5
  • Durability: 4/5 (the dog hasn’t managed to break it yet, unlike most of my other toys)
  • Ease of use: 2/5
  • Value for money: 3/5
  • Total: 2.8/5

Tastes like plastic.

Review: Coleman Supersized Moose Trophy Dog Toy

I have many toys. Lots, but not enough. I like toys. I want more toys. One of my favourite toys is my moose. It’s big, and soft, and I like playing tug-of-war with it, and shaking it about, and generally going very insane while holding it in my mouth. I also really like humping my moose. I like toys, and I have lots, but my moose is definitely the best toy I have for humping. Nothing else is quite as humpable, not even Gila. I like toys. My moose is awesome, and it squeaks. Sometimes it squeaks when I hump it. Sometimes Gila squeaks when I attack him. I want more toys.

  • Fun: 5/5
  • Durability: 4/5
  • Value for money: I dunno?
  • Fluffiness: 4/5
  • Humpability: 6/5
  • Total: I dunno? Awesome!

    Fluffiness: 4/5