I like the space under the table. It’s where I do some of my best thinking. And dreaming. Sometimes, however, my fat sister interrupts me. Sigh.
So we’re moving. I don’t know what that means, but it involves boxes. Lots of boxes. Yay! I don’t really know what else to say about this. Umm.. boxes? I went for a nice walk today (jalan-jalan!), and then came back home to chill with the boxes. Yay! My brother likes the boxes too. I think. He’s weird. Boxes!
Today was Santa Day, and I don’t really know what that means, but I got all dressed up in a very pretty red outfit and was taken outside and got lots and lots and lots of attention! I also ran into another doggie, and the doggie was very strange and attacked me and stuff, but it was all good fun, even though I wasn’t really all that sure what was going on. I had lots of fun and I want it to be Santa Day every day!
Yesterday, the humans went away in the afternoon to go look at a space ship. When it was dinner time, they still weren’t back. Fortunately, they had left some new food for me in the kitchen. Yay! Really nice smelling bars, on the bottom shelf of the kitchen cabinet. They had obviously left them for me – yay! – because otherwise they would have put them on a higher shelf, right? Yay! I love food! I tried the one that smelled like nuts first. The wrapper was a little hard to open, but because I’m a clever pug – I like food! yay! – it didn’t take me too long. The bar was very, very yummy, and I was still hungry, so I moved to the next one. This one tasted of coconut. Very nice. Yay! I was getting kinda full, but the third one was calling my name (Gemuk! Gemuk! Yay!), so I ate it, too.
When the humans got home, they looked a little confused. They had probably forgotten they had left those treats for me – silly forgetful humans. Later, they tried to give me another treat (because I’m such a good doggie!), but it was very yucky and pink and funny-tasting. The bottle said ‘Pepto-Bismol’ on it, and the taste brought back vague memories of when my brother and I had managed to break into our automatic feeders and eaten everything inside. That was fun! Yay!
Since I ate the bars, I haven’t stopped farting! Hehehehe! Fun! Yay! More bars, please?
Anyway, here is my review:
- Taste: 5/5 – supper tasty, better than kibbles
- Packaging: 2/5 – not that easy to open with doggie paws, needs improvement
- Nutritional value: ? – I don’t know what this means
- Side-effects: 4/5 – I love the farts, but the soft poo is less fun
- Value for money: ? – I dunno? I think they were for free?
Host: Hello, and welcome to our show. We have two very special guests here with us tonight: Gemuk the pug and Gila the.. I’m sorry, what are you again?
Gila: I’m an exotic shorthair. You’re retarded.
Host: An exotic shorthair, that’s right. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Gemuk the pug and Gila the exotic shorthair!
Host: So, Gemuk and Gila, tell us a little bit about yourselves. First of all, how do you know each other?
Gila: I was forced to live with her…
Gemuk: He’s my brother! Yay!
Gila: Yes, as hard as it may be to believe, that unfortunately appears to be the case.
Host: Why do you say it’s hard to believe?
Gila: Are you serious? Look at her. Then look at me. Enough said.
Host: I’m not sure I get your point. You’re both black..
Gila: I’m not black, I’m a very dark shade of..
Gemuk: We’re both black! Yay! I’m hungry!
Host: Well, quite.. You’re both black, and you both have adorable smushed up faces.
Gila: I’m not adorable.
Gemuk: I like faces. I’m going to lick your face!
Host: That won’t be necessary. Now, where were.. hey, watch what you do with that tongue.. hey!
Gila: Can you believe I have to put up with that every day?
Gila: What the hell are you laughing at? How is that funny? She’s a bloody licking machine!
Host: Get her off me! My face!
Gila: It’s some sort of obsessive-compulsive behavioural pattern, I tell you. I’m pretty sure she’s so far advanced, she’s beyond help. And the licking is probably the least of her problems..
Host: Urrrrrgh! Ok, that’s enough, please! Gila, you don’t seem to..ugh, Gemuk, stop, please… Gila, you don’t seem to.. think very highly of your sister?
Gila: You think? She’s an idiot.
Host: I have been told that you two do quite a lot together.
Gemuk: We play a lot together! Yay!
Host: Well, there you go..
Gila: Play? More like she attacks me, and I run and find cover.
Gemuk: Hide and seek!
Gila: You disgust me.
Host: Cute. Am I right in stating that sometimes you guys get up to no good together?
Gemuk: Sometimes, he smells of poo-poo.
Gila: Please just ignore her. Anyway, yes, sometimes I use her as a pawn in my evil schemes.
Host: For example?
Gila: That information is classified.
Gemuk: Sometimes, his fur is covered in poo-poo.
Gila: Shut up, bitch.
Host: Now now, there is no need for such language on this show,..
Gila: But that’s what she is. A bitch. A spayed bitch. Go check with the vet, he’s got it in his files. The same files that say I’m awesome.
Gemuk: His wee-wee got snipped off. Yay!
Gila: That’s it, I’m out of here.
Host: Please, Gila, this interview isn’t over yet. Now.. hey! Help! Arrgh!
(Gemuk: Slobber slobber slobber slobber schluuuurp!)
(Audience: Roaring Laughter. Applause)
I’m a girl. I have ribbons in my hair. Or maybe they’re my ears. I’m not sure. Yay!
Here are some post-bathing pics of a slightly wet dog and a very wet cat.
I was a smelly dog! Yay! And today was bath time! Yay! I love bath time! I love my bone, and treats, and walkies! I went walkies today! And I had a bath! Yay! I am no longer a smelly dog! I love bath time! Yay! Can I have a treat, hmm?