Interview with Gemuk & Gila

Host: Hello, and welcome to our show. We have two very special guests here with us tonight: Gemuk the pug and Gila the.. I’m sorry, what are you again?
Gila: I’m an exotic shorthair. You’re retarded.
Host: An exotic shorthair, that’s right. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Gemuk the pug and Gila the exotic shorthair!
(Audience: Applause)
Host: So, Gemuk and Gila, tell us a little bit about yourselves. First of all, how do you know each other?
Gila: I was forced to live with her…
Gemuk: He’s my brother! Yay!
Gila: Yes, as hard as it may be to believe, that unfortunately appears to be the case.
Host: Why do you say it’s hard to believe?
Gila: Are you serious? Look at her. Then look at me. Enough said.
Host: I’m not sure I get your point. You’re both black..
Gila: I’m not black, I’m a very dark shade of..
Gemuk: We’re both black! Yay! I’m hungry!
Host: Well, quite.. You’re both black, and you both have adorable smushed up faces.
Gila: I’m not adorable.
Gemuk: I like faces. I’m going to lick your face!
Host: That won’t be necessary. Now, where were.. hey, watch what you do with that tongue.. hey!
(Gemuk: Slobber)
Gila: Can you believe I have to put up with that every day?
(Audience: Laughter)
Gila: What the hell are you laughing at? How is that funny? She’s a bloody licking machine!
(Audience: Laughter)
Host: Get her off me! My face!
(Audience: Laughter)
Gila: It’s some sort of obsessive-compulsive behavioural pattern, I tell you. I’m pretty sure she’s so far advanced, she’s beyond help. And the licking is probably the least of her problems..
(Gemuk: Slobber)
Host: Urrrrrgh! Ok, that’s enough, please! Gila, you don’t seem to..ugh, Gemuk, stop, please… Gila, you don’t seem to.. think very highly of your sister?
Gila: You think? She’s an idiot.
Host: I have been told that you two do quite a lot together.
Gemuk: We play a lot together! Yay!
Host: Well, there you go..
Gila: Play? More like she attacks me, and I run and find cover.
Gemuk: Hide and seek!
Gila: You disgust me.
Host: Cute. Am I right in stating that sometimes you guys get up to no good together?
Gemuk: Sometimes, he smells of poo-poo.
Gila: Please just ignore her. Anyway, yes, sometimes I use her as a pawn in my evil schemes.
Host: For example?
Gila: That information is classified.
Gemuk: Sometimes, his fur is covered in poo-poo.
Gila: Shut up, bitch.
Host: Now now, there is no need for such language on this show,..
Gila: But that’s what she is. A bitch. A spayed bitch. Go check with the vet, he’s got it in his files. The same files that say I’m awesome.
Gemuk: His wee-wee got snipped off. Yay!
Gila: That’s it, I’m out of here.
Host: Please, Gila, this interview isn’t over yet. Now.. hey! Help! Arrgh!
(Gemuk: Slobber slobber slobber slobber schluuuurp!)
(Audience: Roaring Laughter. Applause)

Up to no good together.

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Cats & Dogs

Domestic Cat Domestic Dog
Species name Felis catus Canis lupus familiaris
Classification Order Carnivoria,Suborder Feliformia, Family Felidae Order Carnivoria,Suborder Caniformia, Family Canidae
Closely related species Wildcat, Jungle cat, Sand cat,Black-footed cat, Chinese Mountain cat

Gila: owl

Grey wolf, Red wolf, Side-striped jackal,Golden jackal, Coyote, Black-backed jackal, Ethiopian wolf

Gemuk: domestic pig, pot-bellied pig

Genome 38 chromosomes,2.8-3.4 billion base pairs (1), ~20,000 genes 78 chromosomes,2.7-3.4 billion base pairs(1), ~25,000-35,000 genes
Number of individuals ~220 million globally (2),64.1 million in US (3), 60 million in Europe (4) ~223 million globally (2),63.8 million in US (3), 56 million in Europe (4)
Number of breeds 73 IPCBA-recognised, 55 TICA-recognised 161 AKC-recognised, 300-3,000 total
Time of domestication 9,500 – 3,600 years ago (5)

Gila: domestication? Yeah, right.

100,000 – 10,000 years ago (6)

Gemuk: not yet fully domesticated

Weight Record: 21kg (7)

Gila: 3.5kg

Record: 156kg (8)

Gemuk: 6.1kg (despite her name, that’s towards the lower end of the range for pug bitches)

Running speed 48km/h

Gila: faster than Gemuk, when he wants to

63km/h (greyhound)

Gemuk: slower than Gila, but runs far more often

Body temperature 38.6C 38-39.2C
Heart rate 120-140bpm 60-100bpm (large breeds), 100-140bpm (small breeds)

(1) genomesize.com

(2) Vetnosis.com

(3) petfinder.com

(4) FEDIAF.org

(5) National Geographic News. National Geographic Society. 8 April 2004

(6) Vila et al., 1997

(7) cat-world.com.au

(8) worldslargestdog1.com

It’s Christmas!

Gila and Gemuk are busy right now, playing with their new Christmas presents, and trying to steal leftovers.

Below are some taster pictures of what their Christmas adventures looked like.. More to follow!

Santa Muk, being prepared for the festivities ahead

Santa Muk, patientlly waiting for Gila the Black-Nosed Reindeer to get ready

Santa Muk and Gila the Black-Nosed Reindeer

Santa Muk, wondering why Gila the Black-Nosed Reindeer is not cooperating with the photographer

Santa Muk, still waiting patiently for Gila the Black-Nosed Reindeer