Review: Clif Bars (White Chocolate & Macadamia / Coconut Chocolate Chip)

Yesterday, the humans went away in the afternoon to go look at a space ship. When it was dinner time, they still weren’t back. Fortunately, they had left some new food for me in the kitchen. Yay! Really nice smelling bars, on the bottom shelf of the kitchen cabinet. They had obviously left them for me – yay! – because otherwise they would have put them on a higher shelf, right? Yay! I love food! I tried the one that smelled like nuts first. The wrapper was a little hard to open, but because I’m a clever pug – I like food! yay! – it didn’t take me too long. The bar was very, very yummy, and I was still hungry, so I moved to the next one. This one tasted of coconut. Very nice. Yay! I was getting kinda full, but the third one was calling my name (Gemuk! Gemuk! Yay!), so I ate it, too.

Yum! Yay! Yum! Yay! Yum! Yay!

When the humans got home, they looked a little confused. They had probably forgotten they had left those treats for me – silly forgetful humans. Later, they tried to give me another treat (because I’m such a good doggie!), but it was very yucky and pink and funny-tasting. The bottle said ‘Pepto-Bismol’ on it, and the taste brought back vague memories of when my brother and I had managed to break into our automatic feeders and eaten everything inside. That was fun! Yay!

Since I ate the bars, I haven’t stopped farting! Hehehehe! Fun! Yay! More bars, please?

Anyway, here is my review:

  • Taste: 5/5 – supper tasty, better than kibbles
  • Packaging: 2/5 – not that easy to open with doggie paws, needs improvement
  • Nutritional value: ? – I don’t know what this means
  • Side-effects: 4/5 – I love the farts, but the soft poo is less fun
  • Value for money: ? – I dunno? I think they were for free?

More bars, yes?


Birthday Parties Are For Idiots Only

So, it was that time of the year again.. my stupid sister had her birthday, and the humans thought it was a good idea to celebrate (as if something as insignificant as that is worth celebrating!) by throwing a party and inviting a bunch of other humans. Seems like only last month when she had her first birthday, and I was forced to wear a stupid blue hat all night long.. very demeaning.

At least things couldn’t get worse this year round, right?


They thought it was funny for me to wear not one, but two stupid little hats. I mean, do they even understand how uncomfortable those elastic straps are for my sensitive physique?

Once again, not amused

I also had to wear some kind of ugly yellow napkin with stupid drawings of cupcakes on it. Very classy. Very stylish.

Yeah, laugh, why don’t you? Very funny.

Anyway, as much as I hated the whole experience, I guess it won’t kill me to lower myself to her level one day a year, and wish my silly fat sister a very happy birthday. Yay! (Ahem..)

Happy birthday, you crazy *****!